One of my favorite poets, Andrea Gibson, writes a newsletter that often opens my eyes or shifts my perspective in how I find myself looking at the world. Today, they offered a piece that took a look at fear.
The key theme was acknowledging that “Fear is not a ‘No.’” That just because you feel fear about something you want doesn't mean you don't want it. And that in order to get a more accurate read on how you feel about this thing, you have to push past the fear and see how you feel without its influence. That sometimes working through the fear is exactly what you need to do to reach the things you want the most.
At the end of the article, Andrea invited us to share our own experiences where fear felt like a no, but we pushed through it to live the life we're living now. This is what I shared:
It's difficult to choose one story as an example of overcoming fear, as it has happened so many times. And yet I find, still, that I succumb to its pressure often. Fearing I'm not good enough. Fearing judgement. Your paragraph:
~"911, what is your emergency? My past answers have been endless—I’m afraid to be myself. I’m afraid to tell a truth that is nobody's truth but mine. I’m afraid to make art no one will adore but me. I’m afraid to have an uncomfortable conversation." ~
It felt pulled directly from my psyche. I work on pushing through fear often, but find myself frustrated when it impedes me again.
But... without pushing through fear, I wouldn't be married to my incredible partner. Without pushing through fear, I wouldn't be awestruck by my beautiful, magical 2 year old. Without pushing through fear, I wouldn't have created the art, the writing, the music, the friendships, or the everyday wonders I have in my life. Without pushing through fear, I wouldn't have left my abusive ex and provided myself the space to create this very life that I'm living.
I know there's so much to come if I can push through the fear that holds me back now. But by reflecting on and acknowledging what all that work has done for me so far, maybe... just maybe... I can find the space for my next evolution.
Thank you for this article today. And thank you for all that you do for all of us. 💖
I hope you too can find the strength to push through the moments that feel like a “No." I hope you can persevere through what seems to stand in the way of the life you want to be living. I hope that we all can bring our light to a deeply darkening world and insodoing, help others find a way to share theirs as well.