If it hasn’t become clear to us all by now, we as a people and as a society, are in a state of transition. Blame it on the planets, blame it on the patriarchy, blame it on oppression, corruption, injustice…
That is if you’re one of those people who feels the need to blame at all.
Me? I feel that change is natural. Healthy even. And as much as it can suck, it serves to help us learn and grow and become better versions of ourselves.
I’ve spoken before about leaning into change. Welcoming it, embracing it. Yet the majority of us still go kicking and screaming into that good night. We don’t seem to know the meaning of gently.
I watch a lot. I listen. I witness. I’ve seen much of what has been driving people these days. What I have been learning through all of this is that ultimately, it is not my job to change minds. To force a viewpoint. To prove someone wrong. Many of us try. But I have found that if someone’s mind is made up, then whatever I have to say is going to fall on their deaf ears anyway.
No, my job… is to change ME.
In this time of great transition, I am going through one of the greatest transitions of all. Motherhood. If you have not heard, I’m currently growing a human, due to land earth-side this December.
Just in time to help usher in the greatest change for all of us.
I knew this was going to mean changes for me. But I underestimated just how much I would change. I have spent countless hours researching, reflecting, journaling, processing past trauma and anxieties, figuring out who I am, who I want to be, what example I hope to set for my child. I have paid particular attention to those who surround me and have found myself distancing from those whose energy I do not want to encourage in her.
And all the while, I find myself surrounded by countless others who stubbornly refuse to change. Who regularly cater to the lowest common denominator. Who troll. Who bait. Who scream and shout. Granted, not everyone is growing a human. And I understand that we are all experiencing this global transition in different ways. But the stubborn digging in of heels, the crybaby whining about change, the complete inability to empathize for ONE SECOND the fact that someone else may be experiencing things on a different level than you… Y’all, I can’t take it these days.
Why is it that we all think that OUR way is the RIGHT way? Why is it that we can all only see in front of ourselves instead of into or outside of them? How is it that so many of us are utterly clueless about how humanity fucking works?
Here. Let me break it down for you:
We are, each of us, a product of our environment, our experiences, our histories, our traumas, our successes, the people we have surrounded ourselves with, the information we take in, the events we experience, and the manner in which we process all of that to the best of each of our ability. None of us, NONE OF US, knows everything. NONE OF US has everything figured out. NONE OF US knows for sure what someone else is going through. And therefore, we cannot presume to know what is best for everyone else. Just because we may not have experienced a particular thing does not negate that thing that someone else has experienced. Just because we live in our own little bubble does not mean that life does not exist outside of that bubble. Our way is not the only way. Our way is not the best way. Our experiences are not the only ones that exist. If the ancient, brilliant philosophers and spiritual leaders all recognized and fully admitted that there is always more to learn, and that they could not possibly have all the answers, then what exactly makes you think that you have them? You’re smarter than Aristotle? Confucius? Jesus?
Right now, so many of us are leaning into the lowest vibration instead of taking the higher road and working to be a better human. We throw blame instead of taking responsibility. We spew hatred and judgement instead of compassion and understanding.
This is a moment of truth. Our current sociopolitical state is a gigantic mirror in front of all of our faces demanding to know just who and what we think we are.
I have to say, right now, the outlook doesn’t look too good.
But I have faith.
I have faith that at some point, we as a people are going to have that click moment where everything suddenly makes sense. I have faith that all of the hate slung from either side of the aisle will finally mix into understanding and compassion and we will all find a way to peacefully coexist. I have faith that my daughter is going to have a world she can believe in, even in the darkest of times. I have faith in the inherent goodness of humanity. I have faith that we have more in common with one another than we do differences and that at some point we are all going to realize that and put down our swords. I have faith that hope is not lost. I have faith that there is a massive paradigm shift right now, as we all are moving into a new tomorrow. I have faith that even those who have yet to understand and accept that will realize their faults and misunderstandings and come to know the beauty of the truth that is. I have faith that the masses can and will heal. That we can nurture and support each other so that all of us may succeed in the best possible way for each of us. I have faith that our differences can create a true equality with the acknowledgement of how each of us can best contribute to this universe.
Which brings me to the main point of this post.
One of the things we hear so much about these days is equality. We point to “All men are created equal” as our banner and then argue about what that truly means. We lean into the idea of a state where those in charge decide how we live our lives instead of realizing that true freedom allows us to live them as we see fit - provided we are not harming ourselves or others in the process. It is not our right to endanger others. But it IS our right to be ourselves.
We so often mistake conformity for equality. Equality is not forcing everyone into the same bread line, with the same regiment, so we may all walk the same road that leads to wherever the powers-that-be tell us to go, to get what they tell us to get, at the time they tell us to get it.
No, TRUE equality is the acknowledgement that each of us is different. Each of us has our own gifts and bounties to offer others. Each of us has our own beautiful and dynamic experience from this life, and those past, that give us and only us a very special sliver of insight into the workings of that which lies beyond. Each of us can combine those experiences and discover the magic that lies within it. Each of us is celebrated for our contributions, our skills, our talents. Each of us is encouraged to share them.
We are so hell-bent on forcing everyone to see things our way. THAT, no matter who you are or what side you are on, is conformity. You want everyone to see things how you do, do things how you would. That is simply not possible. And until we remember that our differences are what make each of us viable and unique, that in fact make this life worth living, we will be stuck in this hell-mouth of hatred and judgement, animosity and toxicity. We need to come together… by witnessing that which sets us apart. By honoring and celebrating it. By sharing it with others. We each have a light to shine, and we each have every right to share it. Forcing us to smother it, hide it, abandon and reject it, or turn it into something that someone ELSE deems worthy will only dim our light. And we need the light. All of it. These are dark times.
So turn inward. Discover yourself. Find what you have to offer and present it with the fullest and most beautiful presence. Don’t worry about changing your neighbor. Don’t worry about forcing him to see it your way. Change YOU. Celebrate YOU. Know YOU. Share YOU. In doing so, you will find your neighbor changing too.
Only this time we will change together, as we all work in the ways that only we can… to make this world a better place.