I realize I have been quiet these last several weeks. I assure you I have not been quiet because I have nothing to say. In fact, I have quite a bit to say. But I refuse to speak until I know and have crafted the words to convey precisely what it is that needs saying. I also refuse to speak about social and political matters on social media. I have no patience for the ravings of trolls and ignorance. Nor those who feel they somehow have the right to spread their hatred and negativity on my wall and on my posts.
But here, this is my space. My own space. Here I am free to say what I like. And that is a freedom I have no intention of giving up.
So here goes.
For months I have sat back. Listened. Observed. Researched. Read. (Ya know, actual articles and not just the spun headlines.)
I had a lot to say about this whole Covid-19 business but then magically, just like that, as soon as states started opening back up and real numbers started to be released, suddenly Covid-19 disappeared from our headlines…
Now apparently, it was time for something new. A new fear. A new outrage. Though admittedly, it wasn’t really that new. I mean, it's been a while since we had a race uprising. And it IS an election year... So… Sounds perfect! *insert media baiting and manipulation here*
Now, let me first be clear about one thing. It absolutely disgusts me that there still exists such racism and prejudice in this world that it is impossible for some people to simply go for a walk around their neighborhood and not feel safe. But what sickens me more are the people who take the pain, the grief, and the suffering of one man, one family, one group of people and exploit it to use it for their own ends. What sickens me is when those in power use fear and manipulation to brainwash an entire group of people into doing their bidding, thereby allowing them to grab power in their clenched fists only to use it as a weapon against the very people they are meant to serve.
I also despise the guilt. The need to lash out. To control. The incessant posting and insisting that everyone must feel and process these actions and events in the same way. That we are not free to feel how we feel. That we are not allowed to process in our own way. That if we do not follow the “collective”, we are somehow less caring, less affected, less human. We are somehow part of the problem. That we are somehow condoning despicable actions.
Guess what… you don’t get to decide how I act, how I think, or how I feel. You only get to do that for YOU. And by you lashing out and attacking others for not thinking, feeling, and reacting the way that you do, you are JUST as guilty of the same hatred and actions that you so vehemently claim to be against. Know what we call that? Hypocrisy. You should maybe look it up.
Personally, I prefer to think through things rather than acting rashly, thanks. Know what that means? Means I'm not going to destroy other people's homes and businesses in the name of inequality. Means I’m not going to lash out at others for being different from me. Means I’m going to respect all positions, try to understand all positions, and come to my own conclusions about what I think is best for me and my relationship to those in society.
I may not have spoken out loud before this, but I have been watching. Observing. Listening. Because the greatest change does not come from half-cocked violence, or seeing who can scream the loudest on a Facebook post. It isn't about a blacked out page or a snazzy catch phrase in the name of equality. And it sure as hell isn’t white folk swiping artwork and intentional posts from the black lives they claim matter only to pass it off as their own. Know what that does? The EXACT thing that people are protesting against. You are, yet again, minimizing their contributions. Silencing their voices. How dare you.
I see white people yelling even louder than the lives that are ACTUALLY being affected. And ya know why? It isn't because of outrage. It's because they need to “prove" how not-racist they are. And let's make sure to go completely over the top so no one ever suspects that maybe that one time we had that one racist thought because that guy totally cut us off but we can't let anyone know that so “BLACK LIVES MATTER - ALL IN CAPS - BECAUSE THAT MAKES US MORE SERIOUS ABOUT IT!!” *insert meme/stolen artwork here*
It's as bad as that homophobic jock stereotype that we are all so familiar with. The guy who needs to do everything in his power to make sure not a single person even suspects he might be gay because then… Well then he might really be gay. It is the exact. Same. Thing. Only with a different premise.
Here's the thing… if you’re not a racist, you don't need to declare it. You just live it. It is your life. Plain and simple. You love everyone regardless of skin tone. You acknowledge the good apples and the bad apples regardless of skin tone. You honor everyone and what makes them unique. INCLUDING their skin tone. When you actually live it, you don't need to prove it to anyone. And your friends, both POC and not, know exactly where you stand and don't ever demand that declaration of you. Because your support of them has ALWAYS been true… even when the media wasn't compelling you to shout it from the rooftops. Or, ya know, the couch you haven't left in the last 3 months, but good for you! You're DOING something!! 👏👏👏
Not only that, but I for one am also sick of the marginalized continuing to be marginalized. People taking offense at the phrase “all lives matter” because they think it's just white people afraid of admitting their privilege. Here's what I say. Black lives are not the only ones being marginalized. How many Hispanic, Latino, Indigenous People, Middle Eastern, Indian, Asian, and those of mixed race are faced with the same situations every day? How many lose their homes, their dignity, their respect, or their lives from fellow humans? How many get pulled over multiple times a year for driving while darker skinned? To zero in on one race commits the exact same crimes to others that you are fighting about for one group. And as for your precious metaphor about the “house on fire, but all houses matter…” Why is it only acceptable to put out the burning house that has the most people yelling about it? The other houses are on fire too. And they deserve safety and protection as much as the ones who are more vocal about it. But turn your blind eye from it because you need to prove how important THIS house is. Because YOU'RE not a racist.
What we actually need is to respect each other. See each other. Hear each other. Defend each other. We need to UNITE as ONE instead of bending to those who constantly insist on dividing us. A divided people is a controllable people and everyone is so easily played these days it's a wonder how so many can still ignore the fact that there's a game.
The way to solve the problem is with LOVE. And I see NO love in ANY of this. I see bored people who need an outlet. I see an entire race of people whose problems are being used YET AGAIN for the benefit of someone else's agenda. I do not see a fight for equality, I see a fight for power. I do not see fair treatment, I see misleading and misguided manipulation of the masses… For about the 500th time this year.
And no one. Sees it.
WAKE. THE FUCK. UP.
But no. Let's just all become social media blowhards shouting “our truth" because anyone who disagrees MUST be an idiot. Or part of the problem. And if we shout it (IN ALL CAPS) loudly enough then we'll obviously change their minds. WE'RE NOT RACIST! We're doing our part! Fists in the air! While we sit comfortably in our fuzzy bathrobe sipping our morning coffee from our lovely suburban home far far away from the public outcries and demonstrations of inequality. #mywhiteprivilege
Y'all, this is NOT what gets it done.
Black squares that further silence already silenced voices is not enough. A hashtag and a fancy graphic are not enough. Deflecting attention from your own shortcomings under the guise of standing up for civil rights is not enough.
Change what you see. Change what you hear. Change what you have been conditioned to believe. Teach your children to love, accept, empathize, and understand. You cannot change the world until you change yourself. THAT is where it needs to start. And THAT is what will ultimately lead to the greatest change for everyone.
And so many of y'all are so terrified of who you really are that you find it easier to yell about someone else's problems instead of fixing your own.
Start there. Start with you. If you feel the need to act, then act in a way that ACTUALLY makes a difference. Volunteer. Contribute. Support. Or better yet do your own observation and research, instead of regurgitating the outdated norms and stereotypes we’ve all been fed, so you can better understand and help fix the problem. We are capable of coming together. We are capable of uniting and being one. We are capable of saying NO to the constant attempts to divide us.
But we cannot do that without love and respect.
For everyone.
Whatever their color.
Whatever their gender identity.
Whatever their sexual preference.
Whatever their religion.
Whatever their political affiliation.
We must show love and respect to each other or we will never have the equality, the understanding, or the compassion that we all claim to want to see.
It starts with you.
Fucking do something about it.