Since last I wrote, the state of our local, national, and global communities has changed dramatically. I think back to when I was writing The Inhale and I have to say that THIS reality is not quite what I was expecting.
Being faced with unimaginable stress and traumatic situations has a tendency to bring out both the best and the worst in people. And during this time, I have witnessed both in abundance. I’ve seen people bringing meals to those who cannot fend for themselves, providing the basic life necessities, making masks for our medical and health care professionals as well as family and friends, posting pick-me-up posts, a huge line of vehicles - and even the local police officers and firefighters - doing drive-by greetings for those with quarantined birthdays… The creations in all artistic mediums that have been produced within these restrictions have been most impressive, and the commitment to connection that some of these artists have in order to make people feel less alone is truly admirable.
But then… I have seen the other side as well. I have seen hatred, judgement, accusatory statements. I have seen divisive posts and the endless sharing of false information. I’ve seen a rush to post awful and unfounded things just because someone wants to be the first one to “break the news.” I’ve seen people intentionally inducing panic and fear. I have seen people fanning the flames of anxiety. And I have seen people criticizing the stability and circumstances of others.
At this point, I feel like I’ve seen it all.
The most frustrating thing for me I think is how so many people feel that their own view is the RIGHT view. They stay stuck in their little box of me and give no thought or regard to how other people feel, deal, or suffer. Like the person who is going out for a drive or walk may be trying to stave off suicide or cope with addiction when there are no in-person AA or support meetings to attend. Maybe they need fresh air to open up their lungs and stay healthy. The person not wearing the mask in the grocery store may have difficulty breathing in it and risks passing out and cracking their head off the ground, or maybe it causes too much physical pain on their tender bodies - so it is safer for them to not wear one and just avoid being too close to people. Maybe finding alternative ways to spend time with family is the only thing keeping some people going. Not everyone has the ability to just sit home. Not everyone has the ability to do what YOU think is best. Every solution is not the best solution, and every solution does not work for every person. Everyone has struggles you know nothing about. And everyone has reasons for their actions.
On a personal note, I have to point out that I’ve seen posts that criticize people for using this time productively and artistically. Posts saying that “not everyone has the privilege of turning a pandemic into something fun or productive,” or that you should wade into the suffering of another and forego your own safety and mental health simply because maybe you’re handling it better than someone else. These claims are outrageous. First of all, I’m not one to get easily offended, but to call my ability to cope in this situation a “privilege” completely negates the hours/days/months/years of struggling, suffering, and self-healing that I have done to reach a reasonably stable place in my mental and emotional health. How dare you. How dare you belittle my pain and my resilience. I wasn’t gifted this. I wasn’t born with it. I spent more time than you could imagine wading through the muck and the filth and the abuses of my life to reach a point where I’m actually okay. The fact that you have not reached a point where you can do the same does not give you the right to attack mine. AND where I can sympathize and empathize with others who are fighting with themselves in these circumstances, who are less adaptable to change or who have never had the opportunity to spend time with and within themselves… the fact that I am coping does not mean that I should have to sacrifice my stability because you don’t know how to find yours. I can help, if you ask. But to “get in someone else’s storm” is neither healthy nor helpful. To anyone.
These circumstances are causing so many of us to not think or reflect on what it is we’re posting for the masses to see. And we all have an unprecedented audience these days since we are all stuck at home, surfing social media, looking for fun or informative or uplifting things to read. Sharing posts that lack compassion, empathy, and understanding just serves to further alienate people who are already feeling alone. Just because you are suffering does not give you the right to force or cause someone else to suffer.
Maybe you should use this time to reflect on yourself. To dive deep. Look in the mirror. Spend some time with your own pain and your own shadows to discover their source and begin healing from them. Emerge from this time of containment stronger, resilient, more beautiful. We are all in a type of cocoon right now and we all have the ability to use it to strengthen our cores and emerge with wings of beauty. I know some days are difficult. I know not all of us are facing this the same way. But there is nothing stopping us, any of us, from trying to do better. To BE better. Some of us are so afraid to face ourselves that we would sooner point the finger and blame at everyone else. It’s THEIR fault that they’re successful. It’s THEIR privilege that they can be productive. No. It isn’t. It is their choice. And it is their strength. And maybe instead of accusing them of this somehow being a bad thing, you should read a page from their book and work on finally bettering yourself.
This situation, for all of us, has been one of adaptation, learning, discovery, and patience. Nothing has come easily. We have all faced circumstances we never thought we would. We need to all be understanding, compassionate, and most of all LOVING toward our fellow neighbor. We need to find a way to make the best out of the situation we are currently in. We need to challenge ourselves to do and be BETTER. Because if we don’t, if we simply continue in the way we have, then this lesson is going to go on and on and on until we all finally understand what it is that it’s supposed to teach us. We have been lax in our connection. We have been careless in our treatment of this world, each other, and ourselves. We have been given a chance to make it right. A chance to heal. And if we ignore that chance, then we will be given another. And another. And another. Because that is what God/The Universe/Spirit/Creator does. Challenges us, teaches us, wakes us up. I’d say there isn’t much more of a wake-up call than this, but I know that isn’t true. I know there can be more. But we can stop it. If we only open our eyes, be more mindful of our actions, and become more aware of our selves. This is not the end of days. This is a new beginning. A new birth. A rebirth. And birth is painful and messy. But the life that springs forth at its end is one of the most incredible and beautiful things any of us can ever experience… A finding of our selves.
When everything else has been stripped away, what are we left with? WHO are we left with? What does that person look like? Are we proud of them? Do we like them? Do we REALLY like them?
More importantly… do we love them? Do we love who we are?
Do we hide from our truth? Do we deflect it? Do we cause distraction so no one else can spot it either?
How can we awaken to ourselves?
I have it on good authority that the sky is NOT falling. In fact, all you have to do to confirm it… is look up. So what are you going to do with this time that has been given to you? How are you going to cope? How are you going to adapt? How are you going to grow? How are you going to change?
How are you going to be reborn?
And how magnificent are you going to be once you get there?