It’s only a phase…
I used to hate that phrase when I was younger. I always felt that it limited the intensity of whatever it was that I was experiencing. I felt like it somehow cheapened the lessons I was learning, and the very REAL emotions that accompanied it. It implied that I would somehow outgrow something that I loved or that was influencing my life in a substantial and life-altering way… I resented that phrase. And it made me bristly every time I heard it.
But the truth is… it was and has always been true. In fact, I’m going to take it one step further and say this: Everything is a phase.
We go through countless phases in our lives. We learn countless lessons. We fight countless battles. Relationships appear, disappear. We die unto ourselves and are born anew. We are introduced to new and exciting things. We release the things that no longer serve to better our selves. We discover things we like, and things we dislike. And sometimes those likes and dislikes get turned around. Sometimes something that has been in our life for ages, we suddenly develop a distaste for. And something we have never been able to stomach is suddenly the most wonderful thing in existence. And sometimes, the most wonderful thing in existence… may suddenly be pulled off the shelves and we are denied that thing because the owner/maker is retiring and hasn’t sold the recipe to anyone else. (Too specific? Sorry… I’m quietly grieving the recent loss of Frozen Run - the most delicious birch beer I have ever tasted. And yet… I’m not convinced that this is the end of Frozen Run. Someone may buy the recipe. Someone may somehow make it again. It may make a comeback. In either case even THIS is likely only a phase…)
But none of this limits or minimizes the other stages of our lives. Just because something is a phase doesn’t deem it unimportant. We wouldn’t be US without them. Our phases serve to shape who we are and they are with us for as long as they need to be. Throughout our lives we go through phases of grief, of joy, of learning, of excitement, of despair, of loneliness, of celebration… If we were to suddenly stop our phases, where would we be? WHO would we be?
And with the full moon nearly upon us, I think it is also important to note this:
Just because we go through phases does not mean that we are not whole.
Did you get that? I’ll say it again.
Just because we go through phases does not mean that we are not whole.
The moon goes through phases with every cycle. It grows. It gathers light. It becomes full and brilliant. It slowly gives way to shadow. And then it lies in darkness. But the only reason we see all of that is because of the light reflected upon it. Out there, beyond the earth, is the moon in its entirety. It never goes away. It is never partially itself or broken apart. It is whole. It turns. It is affected by the beings that surround it or pass by it.
So too are we.
We turn. We change. We are affected by the cosmic events, the people, the places, the things, and the beings that surround us or pass through our lives. We go through periods of shadow and light. And yet we are whole. We are always changing, but we are always whole.
And that is the message I wish to impart today as my own life is giving way to transition. I mentioned it briefly in my last post. It has taken a little bit longer to arrive, but it is all there now. Proven and shining its way down the rest of that tunnel. We are approaching change. We are approaching new chapters. We are making room for beautiful and wonderful things and releasing that which no longer plays a role. Our futures are taking shape. And we are moving forward. Yet nowhere in the struggle of the last several weeks was I incomplete or broken. Beaten up, yes. Searching for answers, yes. Waiting, yes. Preparing, yes. Learning lessons, yes. Frustrated, aggravated, angry, sick, and tired, yes.
Incomplete, no.
Broken, no.
Merely transitioning. Which, as I’ve mentioned before, is a bitter, difficult, and often painful process.
And even if and when we are shattered, even THAT is a phase. It is part of the process. Part of the transition. Part of making us who we are and leading us to whom we are meant to be.
The moon does not complain when it is in the dark. It does not question whether or not it will see the light again. It knows it to be. And in the darkness, it continues to move forward… because that is the only way to get to the light.
May this next phase be full of blessings and joy for you all.
💖🕯🕊