“I know these 5 things about myself are true…
I love this card. It’s come up for me, and for the collective, multiple times, and I think it is one of the most insightful cards in the incredible Soul Journey deck created by Nancy Hess (and found here if you’re interested in purchasing a copy for yourself.)
As I mentioned in my Instagram post, we tend to become experts in self-avoidance. Many people do not seek to make their lives better, to know themselves, or to figure out exactly what makes them tick. They rely on society, peers, social media to tell them who and what and how they should be, or shouldn’t, rather than doing the work. Because let’s face it… the work is hard. No one said it’d be easy. I’m here to tell you it’s not. Digging into who you really are, discovering truths long buried, finding information that directly contradicts everything you thought you were… that’s a tough gig. And most of us, me included - for a long time anyway - would rather stick to the status quo, do what’s expected, or what we think we want, and tell ourselves that we’re happy.
But we’re not happy, are we? If we were, mental and emotional health struggles would not be so high. We wouldn’t feel the walls pressing in on us day after day until we crack. We wouldn’t stay in loveless marriages or toxic relationships. We wouldn’t keep that job that drains every drop of life from us. But we do. And why? Because we don’t do the work.
Doing the work means discovering yourself. It means asking the hard questions. It means deciding whether or not you really are happy, and if you’re not, what it is you can do to change that. It’s about isolating problem areas and tending to them until they’re healthy again. It means being honest about who and what you are, and acting in a way that resonates with that truth. It’s an eye-opening experience. It’s insightful as hell.
And it’s fucking hard.
It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror and realize that the last 5, 10 years of your life have been built on a lie. It’s hard to ask yourself who you are and discover that maybe you never really knew yourself at all. It’s hard to acknowledge that you’ve made mistakes, maybe some big ones, and have to deal with those consequences. We want to blame circumstances, other people, God. None of us wants to be held accountable. None of us want to take the responsibility for our choices or our own unhappiness. But that’s exactly what we have to do.
However, once that’s done, we start to experience our lives in an entirely new dimension.
You have to face the hard stuff to get to the good stuff. You have to slosh through the muck to get to dry, sturdy land. You need the mud to have the lotus… and you need the dark to see the stars.
Honestly, in my experience, making the decision to do the work is the hardest part. We find all the reasons not to do it. We find every excuse, procrastinate to the fullest extent… but when we eventually decide, and start digging in, the awe we experience over our own self-discovery casts off any fears or doubts we had going in. Learning who we really are is one of our greatest lessons, and has the power to change the entire course of our life… for the better. Living authentically, living your truth, is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. And don’t we owe it to ourselves to be happy? Truly and completely happy?
If you hesitated in answering that, let me give you a cheat code: the answer is YES.
So grab a journal, a paint brush, a recording device if you prefer to talk it out or video. Find a way to express your innermost emotions and tackle this prompt: I know these 5 things about myself are true… Don’t sugarcoat them. Don’t gloss over them or carelessly throw words on paper. Really think about them. Really define them. Make each one a well-rounded truth and not just a bullet point. You can do it. I know you can. And maybe you’ll discover something truly remarkable about yourself. Because you are remarkable. And if you don’t know where to start, then start with that: I am remarkable. Then answer why.
I’m going to get all vulnerable and shit and post mine below. Just to give you an idea of what it could look like. But remember, these come from my own life - and my path is not your path - so your truths may be very very different from mine. Trust yourself. And be open-minded to the wonder that is there to uncover.
I know strength. I am a survivor, and I am a warrior. I have faced down many demons, many circumstances, that could have destroyed me - and nearly did. But somewhere, somehow, I found the courage to go on. I found the courage to live. I found the courage to heal. I found the courage to persevere and believe and hope that things would get better on the other side. When they did, it was all the proof I needed in order to trust when the next challenge hit. I am lucky enough to know what I’m made of, and I am made of ferocity, strength, and integrity. I am made of Soul. And I am as mighty as the stars that run through my veins.
I know love. I know the love of a man who loves me unconditionally. I know the love of caring for another. I know the love of friendship, and I know the love of family. I know that the hardest part of knowing love is believing and trusting in it. I know there was a time when I didn’t and the only one who suffered because of it was me. I know that once I relaxed my defenses and understood the sincerity of those who showed me love, I was all the better for it. Love is limitless. We show it to others, we show it to ourselves, and we receive it back tenfold.
I know Spirit. I have worked tirelessly to learn how to connect in this world. With myself, with others, and with that which encompasses us all. I have witnessed the divine in my life. I have leaned on it for support. I have seen the corruption that can come from those who claim to wield it, or to have authority over it, and I have been grateful to learn that that is not how it works. I have felt its warmth in my skin and I have learned to work with its energy. I have much much more to discover and so much farther to go. But my faith is sure. And it is one of my greatest blessings.
I know myself. I have walked many dark roads hand in hand with myself. I’ve abandoned her in the trenches, and I have wrenched her from the edge of the cliff from which she was about to plummet. I have reflected on the past, I have set intentions for the future, and I have tried to remain flexible about both of those things and all the ways in which they can change. I am forever unfolding myself and finding new corners I have never seen before. I am peering into the shadows and diving back in time to decipher the clues this soul holds for this life. I ask questions. I seek answers. I self-reflect like it’s my job… because it is. The most important job. Being true to yourself is of the utmost importance, and you can’t be true to you if you don’t even know who that is.
I know uncertainty. I know limitless possibilities. I know I am the architect of my own destiny. I create my own reality. I change my mind. I flow with the unexpected and I plan as well as I can. I don’t know what this life holds. I have a lot more time and a lot more to experience. But I’m not afraid anymore. Uncertainty can be exciting! When you’re open to possibilities, life can surprise you in the best way. And when you allow Spirit to guide you, you find yourself in some of the most wonderful places that you would have never managed to find on your own. I know uncertainty. And I embrace it to the best of my ability. (Though admittedly, some days that ability is stronger than others lol. 😜)
Down the road, this card will come up again, and we’ll revisit its wisdom. It’s important to revisit things to see how they have changed, just don’t live in the past. Life is lived forward and that is ultimately what we are striving for - living forward in the best way we can.
I wish you all the best in your own journey of self-discovery. Don’t be afraid. And remember I’m here if you need me.
💖🕯🕊
